Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. We are so blessed to have this little family. We told our It would be best for visitors to wait until the baby is at least two months old.. They also offer support and. And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. MEL73104 December 2009 My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. My parents and mother-in-law were over almost all day every day, cooking, cleaning, and helping and while it was very much needed, I felt like I hadnt had one second to myself in days. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! Please Respect That I Do Not Want Visitors After My Baby's Delivery. I missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. Here are some other reasons why parents may request that grandparents not visit the hospital: It's important to remember that new mothers are usually sent home after 48 hours. It is a really hard decision and I keep questioning myself, but that is what we are doing for now. Newborns can't see anything at birth. Healthy newborns don't need cereal, water, juice or other fluids. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. After giving us a few hours to rest and eat, our immediate families began texting us to see when they could come meet her. What the mother and child need is peace. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. Some people are being understanding, others are not. This means they need to feed little and often. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. Am I being a bad parent by not letting other people hold my new baby? And your baby might need more sleep than you think. Design: Ashley Britton/SheKnows. Its not as soon as you might think. Of course youre not being unreasonable! No parents, no friends, no visitors. After what has felt like an absolute eternity to everyone else (and probably you, too), youve finally welcomed your newborn baby. Nemours Foundation. Newborns can sleep about 16 hours a day and sometimes more. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Itdoesn't hurt for grandparents to make a standing offer to come help out. Everyone has been chomping at the bit to see your baby. Tired babies are often fussy. A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of, Heather Rae El Moussa Shares Exhausting Look at One Month, Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. As eager as grandparents may be to get acquainted with their newborn grandchild, they should understand that it is equally important to get off on the right foot with the new parents. It can be hard to keep family and friends away who are clamoring to cuddle your baby. For the price of one cup of coffee each week you can help keep paywalls away. , 400px wide Stick with breast milk or formula. Is it no wonder that everyone is breaking down your proverbial door to snag a sec to snuggle with that delicious baby? I let people hold him, but they HAVE to wash their hands first. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others. This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. You may decide that while it's worth the risk to let grandparents and other close family and friends hold or touch your baby. The unfortunate truth is that childbirth, to this day, can be a very dangerous ordeal. I feel that its my baby so I have to protect him no matter what others feel. She wanted to be in the delivery room with me but I refused to let her, my husband said he'd keep her out of the room under the condition that she be the 1st person to hold the baby. Make sure to support your baby's head. Avoid indoor exposures to people not in your household. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. Im not entirely sold on the idea of cocooning (it seems a bit extreme), but I do wish my husband and I had given ourselves more time with the baby on our own in those first few days and weeks. That's a lot of But for one Redditor, it was a harrowing moment. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. Me: unexplained infertility - annovulatory My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. The days that followed were a whirlwind. Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. A wet or soiled diaper can cause tears. Most grandparents will be dying to help with the baby, but again, defer to the parents' wishes. Your baby has a right to her own space too. I cant look at her without crying happy tears. 20002023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. The couple began cautioning other parents after their daughter died from viral meningitis at 18 days old. But when can visitors see your newborn? I didnt know what to say. Updated: June 3, 2021. I agree to receive relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the use of my health information to make the service more helpful. Here's how to keep your baby (and everyone) happy and healthy during those delicious newborn baby visits. I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Sharing life's big events with family makes them all that more special. 1. She has written articles on pregnancy, parenting, and relationships. The most important step when carrying or holding your newborn is to support your baby's head and neck at all times. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. Is it true that people should wash their hands before holding a newborn? Carefully slide the hand under the neck and the head such that the neck of the baby rests on the crook of your elbow and place on the bottom for support. Crying babies may be soothed by gentle rubbing or pats on the back. Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby: A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody. Welcome to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and we can't believe you're here! Yoghurt. Your email address will not be published. But by responding, you let your newborn know that you're always there. We are letting people hold Ryan, but if anyone so much as sniffles, they're not allowed. Baby Caring for a newborn baby How to look after a newborn baby in those first few days (0 to 12 weeks). But this schedule can work for other relatives and friends who can hold out a little longer until baby has started their vaccination schedule. Some parents may continue to bar visitors during their first days or even weeks at home. Bringing a newborn baby to a social situation can at times feel like a game of Pass The Parcel as everyone takes their turning holding your bundle of joy. for the content of external websites. While working as an intern for an English daily, she realised that she likes writing above anything else. On the other hand, feel free to ask others to respect your need for them to keep their distance. since infants can also contract the disease. Belly hold. Answer (1 of 8): It is completely appropriate for a mom or dad to want to say no when someone asks to hold their brand new baby! Lyndsey Garbi, MD, is a pediatrician who is double board-certified in pediatrics and neonatology. interactive elements on the site, any assistance, or response you receive is provided by the author There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. People become cut off from their grandchildren for all sorts of reasons. It's raising a child with our amazing "village" and never putting them in compromising positions. 4. I. my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. And dad can help out with stroller walks, diaper changes, housework, and other things as well, to help you feel less overwhelmed. Respond to crying. I in fact never asked to hold him, only GM and GF did. Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. It made me so happy t, Original poster- I would have been very sad, too, but tried to understand it. The next day, after her first pediatrician appointment, we found out that her jaundice levels were too high and that she would need to be admitted back into the hospital for about 24 hours. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. Should I cut down on her baths. I come from a large family too and my LO has already been held by more people than I can remember. Your baby will not develop head control until about 4 months old, so until then it will be your job to ensure that his or her head doesn't flop from side to side or front to back. Why would parents do this to grandparents? Exhausted, swollen, completely overwhelmed, and ecstatically happy, I spent the next few hours staring at her in awe alongside my husband, cooing over everything she did, and wondering how we had gotten so lucky. Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. Regardless, my own newborn-life experience is something I will make sure to remember the next time a friend or family member has a baby: Im going to back off for the first few weeks, and visit when theyre ready. You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on Third-hand smoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first and second-hand smoke. Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. 3. Try stroking your newborn gently when you change a nappy or at bath time. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. I offered to let my mom and mil hold him, but I also knew they were. my 2nd . My husband and I didnt think twice before telling them to come by the hospital whenever they wanted. Another complicating factor is if one grandparent is welcomed and another turned away. your doctor. Helping your baby to sleep How to change your baby's nappy Nappy rash Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) Soothing a crying baby Washing and bathing your baby What you'll need for your baby It is unpredictable in that we never know how widespread it will be and how severe the cases will be when it does come around. If you ask an overwhelmed parent what you should do, you're simply giving the parent another thing to think about. Flu is particularly dangerous in babies and they cannot be vaccinated until they are 6 months old. Your breast, with her body turned inward toward you to wait until the baby, but that is we. 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